| March 22nd, 2008 | Full Disclosure | ||
Direct Answers - Column for the week of April 21, 2003 I hope you can talk me out of this bad feeling. I watched the Michael Jackson program where he was talking about how he was treated by his father. I had hushed the bad memories to the back of my head, but this program brought them flooding back. I was brought up in Ireland with a mother and father. All I remember of my childhood was my mother beating me for nothing. I was beaten three or four times a week with a hurley stick, but she was so nice to everyone no one would have believed the terror we lived in. I had to get my brothers and sisters out to school while she stayed in bed. If I did not leave the kitchen spotless before I went to school, I got a beating when I came home for lunch. We had tiled floors, and at the weekend she would hand me a box of Brillo soap pads and tell me to scrub. If I missed one tile, I got a beating. We were never loved, kissed, or cuddled as kids, and never a nice word spoken. My father left home when I was 17, and so did I. My mother lives with my sister, and I see her Christmas. She never has anything to say to me. My sister said if she talks to my mother about the past, she says she does not remember. Now in my fifties, I feel I wasted my life away living in a shell I built around myself. I have been with the same man for 25 years now and find it hard to talk about my feelings. I have a few close friends, but they don’t know about my childhood. I don’t think you can help me, but just putting pen to paper helps. Brigid Brigid, spending Christmas with your mother must be like spending Christmas with the assailant who battered you, stole your purse, and was never punished. Just laying eyes on her hurts you. You had to mother yourself and that is very difficult, but be grateful for the shell you created. It allowed you to survive. If you tell your close friends, it will give you even more release than writing this letter. It will be hard for you to tell, and hard for them to listen. It was hard for us to hear your story, and we barely know you. But telling them is the place to begin. Telling your friends will allow you and them to be more honest in general conversation. It will help them not to make comments which may unintentionally hurt you, or to ask what you are giving your mother for Christmas. You may, however, have to discourage them from heading to Ireland with a hurley stick. Wayne The Sting This may seem like a silly question, but I am curious how common this scenario is. I signed a onerous and mean-spirited divorce decree without legal representation because my ex-wife said the divorce was just symbolic. It was to give closure to a bad marriage, and we were going to start over. After the divorce was real, final, and contained things I never agreed to, I am paying more than $6000 per month in cash and prizes. Have you heard of this before? Ramsey Ramsey, at the risk of stating the obvious, divorce is the final legal disconnection of a union. It is not done to restart a relationship. You could have symbolically burned a piece of paper, gotten new wedding rings, or begun “dating” each other again. But she had another plan in mind. Who gets involved in one-sided divorces? The good person, the trusting person, the one who wants to believe. Perhaps a good attorney can get a more equitable settlement. Perhaps not. But we have heard your story before. It is the consequence of being a trusting person. Tamara About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com. Posted in Online New Age | Comments Off
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| March 21st, 2008 | Matchmaking Madness - Avoiding the Dangers of Dating Sites | ||
Most of us can be deceived by the personality that a person presents on a matchmaking site. But there is a way you can find out who they really are inside so you can avoid the dangers and pitfalls of the dating game. Many folks believe that if their profile matches another person, they will be a match and can live in peace and harmony. While profiles can show another person’s preferences, they do not reveal the inner personality — who they really are inside. This is why it is a serious mistake to assume that you know a person simply because a matchmaking site has shown that you have compatible profiles. But, alas, this is what countless people do every day, and they wonder how they could be so wrong about another person. The answer is that they did not know who that person was inside. For instance, as a professional matchmaking astrologer, I have found couples who have had very compatible celestial energies. They appear to be the ideal couple. They are very loving and pleasant to observe. But I have seen a serious flaw in some of these relationships which cannot be seen or explained by ordinary means. Such a flaw often end up being the source of a breakup, and folks simply don’t understand why they “didn’t see it coming.” Their problem was easily seen in the combination of their signs and planets but totally hidden to themselves and any outside observer. The average couple does not have enough tools to know what is going on in the deep recesses of another person’s psyche. Matchmaking sites certianly do not have this capacity. And there is no computer program that can synthesize these energies as well as the human brain. Then there is the danger of downright dishonesty. Some folks submit a photo that was taken 20 years ago. Can you imagine the impact this has on the other person when they meet face to face? Others are already married and lie about it. They simply want to have an affair. They can easily mislead the other person. Then there are those who want to find a “good catch,” so they manipulate the facts to convince the other person that they have a great education, came from a well-to-do family, and love all the things the other person loves and appreciates. But, as I have so often said, the signs and planets of the heavens reveal the truth of any relationship. They reveal the inner nature of a person. This cannot be hidden from a skilled, celestial matchmaker. If you really want to play it safe and avoid the dangers of the dating sites, I beg you to find out who the other person really is insid © 2006 Randall Curtis
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